My Heartbeat

She could be the life of the party

Just as easily as she could sleep half the day away,

“Because I needed my beauty rest.”

She would go to her book clubs,

But really it was wine night with her girlfriends.

She would order the plainest of Greek salads,

Just to shrug her shoulders as she paired it with the biggest Patron margarita.

She couldn’t dance to save her life,

But her drinking buddy Jameson assured her she could.

She couldn’t name the eight planets,

But she could name the first one-hundred and fifty-one Pokemon.

She said she didn’t like to cuddle.

She was a liar.

She liked dogs,

Almost as much as me.

She liked traveling,

So I took her all over the world.

Her name was my heartbeat,

I’d whisper it into her ears when she was asleep.

Because I didn’t need to remind her

When she was awake.

 

Fear

What do I fear?

Not the shark attacks

Or the gunshots.

Not the cancers

Or the car crashes.

Not the machetes

Or the life sentences.

I fear dying

With no children to mourn me

No gold around my ring finger

And absent a beautiful soul to call my heartbeat.

I’d rather die slow and screaming

Knowing I felt the love

Countless take for granted

Just one time.

 

Standing

When I leave this world

I hope to have a belly full of beer

Four paws barking at my side

And a middle finger raised

To the son of a bitch

Who mowed me down

 

Newports

Every time I press a cigarette to my lips.

I think of the nights I shouldn’t have had another.

The women who twisted my heart into knots.

The men I should have made bleed.

And the memories I want to watch burn.

I should have taken my kindness

And let it become cinders and ash

With the rest of me.

 

Shoulders

If only the world knew,

The demons I’ve had

Crouched on my shoulders

Telling me

To let the rage

Win

And let them out.

 

Mirror

After all the countries traveled,

All the women seduced,

All the beers drunk,

And all the memories made.

I’d trade it all just to be able to look at myself in the mirror

And smile.

 

My Long Story

There’s someone special living miles away
Who I think about from time to time
With a smile.

I tell her every now and again,
We’re going to be one of those couples with a long story.

One year you’ll be with someone,
And maybe the next I’ll be with someone,
But deep inside we know we’re meant for each other.

Our paths aren’t meant to cross again, just yet.
And that’s okay.
Because, love,
I’ll wait as long as it takes
To press my lips against yours again,
And to hold you tight on a cold night,
Happy.

Some time will pass
And somehow,
We’ll find each other again.

And then,
Everything will be perfect.
Because you’re my long story.
And my heart will always beat for you.

 

Blunt

All it took was a few lines

To make him feel like the smallest man in the world.

All the flowers bought,

All the trips taken,

And all the patience given,

He was still a bronze medal,

In her eyes.

 

Good Morning

It’s a weird thing.

I thought I’d be more upset or want to go numb,

But I’m not.

Because we were just pieces to different puzzles,

Trying to force each other to fit.

 

I didn’t care about your hair,

Or the numbers on the scale,

Or what you got paid by the hour,

I just wanted you.

 

When I said I liked you the way you are,

You scoffed and replied, “do you know how many guys have said that to me?”

Maybe people like us are alone for a reason.

 

And that’s okay,

Because what’s not meant to be,

Is not meant to be.

We’ll be just fine without each other.

I’m sure.